Expletives Deleted
by kungfoogirl
Summary: A young Nymphadora Tonks stuggles to balance all the priorities in her life: Quidditch, classes, friends and family. But one afternoon she stumbles across the path of a quiet, awkward Slytherin student, and find that she can't quite forget her.
1. The Library

CHAPTER ONE

"Nymphadora?" A small and quiet voice called out her given name, an act that the young Nymphadora Tonks considered to be unforgivable. The 5th year Gryffindor sighed heavily and restrained herself from loudly correcting her caller. Had she not been in the library, she might have thought differently. Since the day she first set foot on the Hogwart's Express, she'd demanded that she be referred to by her last name.

She turned around to find the source of her annoyance. "Yes?" she said quietly, but rudely. After all, it wasn't as if her face was unknown in halls of Hogwart's School Of Witchcraft and Wizardry. She was on the Quidditch team, and had a propensity for landing herself in Dumbledore's office. The former she attributed to her tomboyish nature, and the latter to her inability to keep her mouth shut around Professor Snape.

Speaking of Snape, the student standing before her was in her potions class. Tonks remembered her only because Snape gave her a particularly difficult time in class. Since Professor Snape was head of Slytherin House, he expected all the students in his house to get top marks in his class. Tonks wasn't sure what this girl's preferred class was, but it certainly wasn't potions.

"Do, um, do you have a moment?" Tonks could barely hear her whisper. She looked terribly out of sorts, continually shifting from foot to foot and staring at the ground. Since Gryffindor House and Slytherin House historically don't get along, Tonks assumed that to be the source of the girl's unease.

"What cha need, doll?" It gave Tonks a slight thrill to watch the girl squirm.

"I was wondering if I could borrow your notes from potions class today. Snape's been riding my ass kinda hard lately and I noticed that you seem to always get top marks, even in potions class."

Tonks chuckled. "Well, If you want to be an auror, you have to get good grades all around. I absolutely hate potions. But what can I do? The Ministry Of Magic will never take me if my marks aren't top notch." She shuffled through the scrolls of parchment in her bag until she found the days notes. Tonks hesitated handing her notes over when she noticed a particularly nasty caricature of Professor Snape in the upper left hand corner of the parchment. She shrugged and handed it over. "Uh. Don't mind my little bit of art there."

The girl giggled. "It does kind of look like him." She smiled crookedly at Tonks and stuffed the parchment in her own bag. "Do you mind if I give these to you after supper? I have to run off to herbology in a moment, but I'll be done with them by the time supper rolls around."

"Sure, sure. I'm not particularly attached to them, you know. And besides, I have Quidditch practice this afternoon." Tonks was pleased as punch to be the Keeper for Gryffindor this year. Last year she had to play as a Chaser since they were short a Chaser but had a fantastic Keeper. The bloke that took her spot as Keeper graduated and Tonks gladly stepped up to fill the position. Oh how her mother had howled and complained about it! Nyphmadora! You are a pureblood wizard, and I expect you to act like one. I haven't sent you off to that school to turn into a tomboy and spend your days dirty and scuffed up! Tonks could still hear her mother's shrill voice, nearly two years later.

"So, I'll see you at supper then?" The girl started to head off, walking backward and grinning widely.

"Uh, yeah, yeah. Um. Enjoy herbology." Tonks found her grin to be completely disarming.

"I shall," said the Slytherin girl. Tonks could swear she saw her blushing a little as she turned away.


	2. Rainy Quidditch

CHAPTER TWO

Despite the fact that it was December, Quidditch practices were as long and grueling as ever. It wasn't quite cold enough to snow, but that didn't stop the clouds from dropping freezing rain on the lot of them. At the beginning of practice it wasn't so terrible. The protective gear that the players had to wear kept them quite warm. It might be torturous in the early fall before summer has completely faded, but in the colder months the heavy leather shin guards, gloves and cloak are a blessing. Except, of course, when it rained. The gear quickly gets soaked, and doesn't dry easily; leaving the wearer laden with heavy, cold and wet clothing. Tonks despised practices like this.

The rain made it difficult to see, and the cold made it difficult to feel her fingers. Neither of which bothered her as much as the fact that the cold and rain made it difficult to make the spectacular saves for which she was most proud. Sure, she did a fair job at defending the goals against the most common attacks, which any fool could learn from reading "Quidditch Through The Ages". Her basics were good, seeing has how the team captain would have kept her out there practicing day and night until she was a respectable keeper if he felt that she was the slightest bit deficient. However, Tonks' greatest value as a Keeper was her ability to make spectacular saves. It was, in her opinion, her trademark.

Her favorite save was against Hufflepuff during a practice match during her 4th year. She'd been allowed to play Keeper because the regular bloke was laid up with a nasty head cold. She'd been out of position trying to avoid having her head knocked off by a Bludger since the Gryffindor Beaters were off harassing the rookie members of the other team. The Hufflepuff Chaser had a hold of the Quaffle and was on a clean, fast break away. He was headed for the left ring, and had a comfortable distance between himself and Tonks. In a moment of desperation, Tonks dove off her broom and batted the Quaffle out of the air at the last second, landing in a heap of robes and broom in the sandy pit below the rings. It was a spectacular, crowd pleasing save and earned her the respect of the other team members even if the save was risky and somewhat ill-advised.

This cold and rainy afternoon, she was happy to make one or two garden-variety saves and call it an afternoon. There would be more practices and more saves. Besides, her mind was on supper and getting her notes back. The last few weeks, Snape had been more ornery than usual, meaning that the classes were particularly difficult and the homework excruciating long.

During her time as a student within the hallowed halls of this fine institution of wizardly learning, Tonks had discovered that most of the professors here went through phases. One week they'd be pleasant, helpful and understanding. Within a blink of an eye, they'd give you detention or deduct points from your house for any indiscretion, real or imagined. She supposed that they had lives just like everyone else, and that they had bad days too. Tonks, herself, had a bad day every time her owl brought her another letter from her mother. It wasn't outside the realm of possibility that the professors had mothers like hers.

Snape was an exception. He didn't have good days and bad days. He seemed like he have awful days, mostly. And if the day wasn't awful then it certainly qualified as "horrible". "Awful" and "horrible" were the only two flavors in which Snape's days came. Never a genuine smile or a kind word, even if you were in Slytherin house. But lately, Snape seemed to be having some truly catastrophic days... based on the way he was treating the 5th years.

Tonks was deep in thought about her homework, Snape's personal life, and the girl that had borrowed her notes when her Quidditch captain arrived beside her with a "WHOOSH!"

"Tonks!" She was startled. "Are you having a nice afternoon?"

"But of course I am." Her grin was clearly sarcastic. "A bloody party up here, sir! I'm waiting until I can feel my fingers again before I sit down at the piano and play a few tunes."

"All right, all right. I get the point! Damn." He blew his loud whistle and the players gathered around. After the stragglers made it in, he called a huddle and told them to take it into the locker room. It was still a bit early, but they'd discuss today's practice in the warm and dry confines of the locker room.

Tonks glided quietly long with the rest of the team into the locker room, and happily changed into her regular robes.


	3. Flying Quills in the Great Hall

Chapter Three

Tonks stepped through the doors to the main Great Hall and promptly tripped over the threshold. The complete lack of grace with which Tonks entered the room drew the attention of what seemed to be every student in school. And also Mrs. Norris, Filtch's nasty cat -who meowed rudely before running off to fetch her master. The parchments containing the day's notes skidded across the floor and into one of the many statues along the walls of the room. One of her quills flew from her bag and stuck itself solidly in the wooden base of the statue of Mortimer Manes –an old haggard wizard best know for inventing dragon-hide gloves.

Tonks sighed as she pulled herself up form the floor and began gathering up the spilled contents of her bag. Why is it that she can get fabulous grades, make a million friends, be the star of the Gryffindor Quidditch team and still be unable to take more than a few steps without stumbling or dropping something? She'd long suspected that there were gravitational anomalies in the halls of Hogwarts, and just assumed that the other students and professors were unaffected.

The snickering from the rest of the school was just dying down as she picked up the last of her lost rolls of parchment. She turned her attention to trying to pry her quill from the statue. It wasn't entirely clear to her how it managed to get itself so lodged, but it wasn't coming loose easily. She planted on foot on either side of the quill, grabbed the quill with both hands and tried to pull the quill out that way. It took her a few tries and a few moments where she imagined that she was King Arthur pulling the sword from the stone, but it eventually came free.

When the quill was free of the statue, Tonks found herself suddenly off balance and headed for the floor again. She closed her eyes as she braced for the impact, which would surely be accompanied but a loud "thud" and more snickering from the Slytherins.

And yeah. That's exactly what happened.

Except, when she opened her eyes she was looking up at the Slytherin girl that she'd lent her potions notes to.

"Have you ever seen something called 'television'?", the girl asked.

"No" Tonks was still lying on her back looking up at the girl, hoping that by lying down, the fact that she was blushing furiously could be concealed.

"We studied it in Muggle Studies last year. They're kind of like our photographs. Only they have sound. And instead of just a few movements, they show entire stories. And I think there was some music. But I can't remember if it was all real, or made up. I had to look at it several times to understand it…" The girl furrowed her brow and looked confused.

Tonks took the opportunity to right herself and regain some composure. She looked at the girl, who was still silent. She looked around Great Hall. And finally she broke the silence.

"…and?"

The girl blinked.

"It sounded like you were heading somewhere with that train of thought…" Tonks continued.

"Oh! Right. Um. See. We had to watch a particular program, which is supposed to be the height of muggle entertainment. When you were trying to pick up your stuff, you reminded me of some of the people in that program."

Unsure if she should be insulted or not, Tonks asked "Did they have names?"

"Sure," the girl replied. "I think they were called 'The Three Stooges'."

Still unsure if she should be insulted for not, Tonks wrinkled her nose, and changed the subject.

"My notes? Are you finished with them? Not to be a downer, but I do need to get some studying done tonight."

The girl stuffed her hand in her bag and retrieved Tonks' parchment. She stuck her arm out and offered the paper to Tonks. "Thanks. I appreciate it."

"Did they help at all?"

Quietly, she said "Um, yeah. The part about properly bottling solutions was um… good. A little confusing, though. Um… I need to study more…." And her voice trailed off as she hung her head and locked her eyes on her shoes.

"Well, if you need more help, just let me know, kay?"Tonks relished the idea of tutoring a Slytherin on potions.

"Uh. Ok. Thank you." It was clear that the girl didn't grasp the material, and was ashamed of it.

"I gotta get some grub and start studying. Quidditch is hungry work, and I've got precious little time these days with all these practices." The girl nodded.

As she turned to head for the Gryffindor table, Tonks heard from behind her "Thank you, Nymphadora." Tonks winced, counted to ten and turned around.

"What's your name?", Tonks asked curtly.

The girl swallowed and eeked out "Marlena."

Tonks nodded. "Well, Marlena. You're welcome." Tonks paused. "Oh, and one thing: Everyone calls me Tonks." She winked, turned around and took her seat at the Gryffindor table next to her teammates.

"Haha! Nice fall there, Tonks. You know, you ripped your pants again", teased the captain of the team.

"Have a nice trip? Ha! See you next fall!", quipped another player.

"Jackson," Tonks said. "Did you know that there are practically NO LAWS prohibiting me from shoving your broom up your nose? Just thought I'd mention that."

The boys knew she'd been teased enough and they let the conversation drift naturally back towards their preferred topics: Quidditch matches and Peeves' latest prank.


End file.
